Hello Everyone,
So I haven’t been around much the last year or so. I apologize. I have been battling the worst depressive episodes of my life. I’ve struggled with the after-effects of my hysterectomy a year ago - mental, physical and emotional. My life has been a roller-coaster.
But here’a the absolute, ugly and unvarnished truth - CPTSD, chronic pain, generalized depression and anxiety and stressful life situations combined are a dangerous combination. I have been in a battle for my very life. I am processing years’ old trauma that I didn’t even realize existed until it has manifested in some way that makes me look, feel and act absolutely “bonkers.”
To be honest, that’s dangerous. The symptoms that are caused by these issues combined with trauma flashbacks or new traumas can cause someone to push their support system or potential support system away. It’s when someone is pushing people away that they need people to stay the most.
Friends, family, my Soul Tribe - I have been in a a battle for my very life. I have been battling for my heart and soul. I am a very positive, loving and upbeat person - my mental issues take this away from me and turn me into a person that even I cannot recognize.
If you’re feeling like “un-a living” yourself, please reach out. Call emergency services if you don’t have a support system or support person. Post a message online. Just reach out. You are not alone. If someone doesn’t respond or they respond harshly - keep reaching, those people are not your tribe. But you will find the love and support you need.
Sometimes we just have to convince ourselves to try again and just wait and see. Sometimes it’s very literally holding on for Just. One. More. Day.
Cherish and nurture yourself, begin to find just one thing daily to do for yourself, to take that step forward while you’re holding on tightly to that tiny string. You’ve got this.
My messages are always open to you! If I don’t answer right away, please understand I am a single mom and business owner so sometimes things get hectic - I WILL respond to you. Even if it’s an emoji and a quick sentence. I will listen and answer.
Sending so much love and light. While you’re battling shadows, know you are not fighting alone. ❤️
