When you are a survivor of childhood abuse or trauma, it's important to remember that you don't have to continue the cycles of trauma and abuse that you were raised within. You owe it to yourself and your children - if you have them or choose to have them - to find your power and break those cycles, regardless of how many times you have to say "NO" or leave a toxic situation or person.
Recognizing toxic cycles for what they are is the first step in beginning to heal, which is where breaking them truly begins. If you can acknowledge and understand toxicity for what it is, you set yourself on the path to finding ways to cope with the trauma, begin healing and avoid repeating those cycles. Sometimes, you have to keep breaking cycles over and over until you are no longer repeating them.
Understand, I'm not saying that you should not practice situational awareness and set boundaries to avoid repeating cycles. I'm not suggesting that you aren't responsible for your *own* choices or decisions - in this life, we are only responsible for ourselves, our actions and reactions, our own decisions. You cannot control another person or their words and actions, but you can choose to remove yourself from someone else's toxicity or the toxicity that they bring to your life. A huge battle when it comes to breaking cycles is to recognize those cycles for what they are and then to also stop them before they continue.
This can be difficult to do if one hasn't learned from their past decisions or relationships, if they haven't learned that toxicity begets toxicity. You have to understand the difference between healthy and toxic, what's "normal" and "not normal," if you will. By this, I mean that you have to learn that old patterns and cycles are unhealthy and have brought you to where you are, regardless of who or what is the ultimate catalyst for the toxicity. You have to recognize that where you've been, as painful and traumatic as it may have been, it isn't normal. You do not have to live in a constantly repeating cycle of trauma.
If you find yourself repeating cycles, ask yourself what needs to change. Be brutally, yet gently, honest with yourself. Regardless of whether it's something you or a toxic person are doing, recognize that you have the power within yourself to change your own life and destiny. You don't have to be a victim, you can choose to survive and THRIVE. Be sure you aren't battling yourself in attempts to sabotage your own happiness. Watch for the trap of feeling like whatever you are going through is all you deserve or fatalistic thinking and believing that this is as good as your life can be.
Begin to manifest change in your own life by setting strong and hard boundaries. Don't allow others to penetrate your safe space. If you have to remove yourself from a situation or relationship, don't apologize or feel guilty. Do whatever it takes to maintain a healthy space and boundaries for yourself, surround yourself with positivity. Daily affirmations, meditation, journalling, counseling, a workout routine, new hobbies - all of these things will go towards helping you to set your life on the right path and break cycles for good.
In the mean time, don't apologize for breaking cycles. Regardless of how many times you have to break them. Keep breaking them, one cycle at a time, over and over, if that's what it takes. Eventually, when you're closer to whole and have healed sufficiently, the changes you make will become permanent - for a happier, healthier and whole You.
Recognizing toxic cycles for what they are is the first step in beginning to heal, which is where breaking them truly begins. If you can acknowledge and understand toxicity for what it is, you set yourself on the path to finding ways to cope with the trauma, begin healing and avoid repeating those cycles. Sometimes, you have to keep breaking cycles over and over until you are no longer repeating them.
Understand, I'm not saying that you should not practice situational awareness and set boundaries to avoid repeating cycles. I'm not suggesting that you aren't responsible for your *own* choices or decisions - in this life, we are only responsible for ourselves, our actions and reactions, our own decisions. You cannot control another person or their words and actions, but you can choose to remove yourself from someone else's toxicity or the toxicity that they bring to your life. A huge battle when it comes to breaking cycles is to recognize those cycles for what they are and then to also stop them before they continue.
This can be difficult to do if one hasn't learned from their past decisions or relationships, if they haven't learned that toxicity begets toxicity. You have to understand the difference between healthy and toxic, what's "normal" and "not normal," if you will. By this, I mean that you have to learn that old patterns and cycles are unhealthy and have brought you to where you are, regardless of who or what is the ultimate catalyst for the toxicity. You have to recognize that where you've been, as painful and traumatic as it may have been, it isn't normal. You do not have to live in a constantly repeating cycle of trauma.
If you find yourself repeating cycles, ask yourself what needs to change. Be brutally, yet gently, honest with yourself. Regardless of whether it's something you or a toxic person are doing, recognize that you have the power within yourself to change your own life and destiny. You don't have to be a victim, you can choose to survive and THRIVE. Be sure you aren't battling yourself in attempts to sabotage your own happiness. Watch for the trap of feeling like whatever you are going through is all you deserve or fatalistic thinking and believing that this is as good as your life can be.
Begin to manifest change in your own life by setting strong and hard boundaries. Don't allow others to penetrate your safe space. If you have to remove yourself from a situation or relationship, don't apologize or feel guilty. Do whatever it takes to maintain a healthy space and boundaries for yourself, surround yourself with positivity. Daily affirmations, meditation, journalling, counseling, a workout routine, new hobbies - all of these things will go towards helping you to set your life on the right path and break cycles for good.
In the mean time, don't apologize for breaking cycles. Regardless of how many times you have to break them. Keep breaking them, one cycle at a time, over and over, if that's what it takes. Eventually, when you're closer to whole and have healed sufficiently, the changes you make will become permanent - for a happier, healthier and whole You.
