A Red Flag Should Be A Stoplight

   When it comes to new relationships, regardless of how casual they might be - it's important to remain as objective as possible, no matter how much we might like or be attracted to the other person. Typically, it takes about three months of more than casual dating for someone to start to show their true colors or intentions. Some are less subtle than others, depending on their motivation and methods.

 No one wants to be lonely or go through life alone. Every human being deserves to have a friend or companion that they can go through in life, their "person," so to speak. The thing is, if you are willing to settle for whomever you come across who expresses interest or are willing to settle for less than you actually want, you will never find that which you deserve.

When getting to know a new person or engaging in a new relationship, it's important to evaluate and re-evaluate as you go. If the person is usually negative about past relationships or jobs, if they have many financial or interpersonal problems, this is usually a major red-flag. Typically, it's not a huge string of bad-luck that has brought someone to where they are - it's a series of their own choices and actions in their interpersonal relationships. This is a HUGE red flag.

If you notice any type of red flags, whether it's something concrete that you can pinpoint or something that's glaringly obvious, or it's just a gut feeling that "something's not right," trust your instincts and use your best judgement. Remain objective and avoid jumping into anything too fast, be wary of anyone who tries to push you out of your comfort zone or pushes at boundaries that you've set in place. Pay attention to any and all red flags.

The bottom line is, a red flag should be a stoplight. Don't keep going into a situation if you are uncertain or feeling nervous about it. You should never have to make excuses for another human being or their words or actions. Set and keep firm boundaries in place. Remember your worth and remember that no one has the right to take anything from you - not anything material, not your physical or emotional well-being or your mental health. A red flag is a stoplight, so slam on the brakes and back-up if you feel yourself getting into a bad situation or relationship.

The Beauty of Fire

The beauty of a fire and the destructive capabilities always leave me in awe. It's a reminder to me, that we need to burn bright with our passions and remain true to ourselves... Or we can be lost in the flames and destroy ourselves and every thing around us.
#fire #bonfire #beauty #flame #self #truth #honesty #healing #faith #hope #love #passion #beyourself #nevergiveup #destruction

Living With PTSD

I have Complex PTSD due to multiple traumas throughout my life. This can be a real complication to everyday life and can make things very difficult for me to manage on a daily basis. I am not my diagnosis, but I do have to live with the symptoms.

Living with PTSD is very much like walking in a tightrope, over a landmine, while wearing heels and carrying a gigantic bag of bricks. One wrong step and you fall. I'm never sure when and where I will be triggered or what is going to trigger me.

I never know if I'm going to be able to calmly manage being triggered or if I will somehow end up acting "crazy." God knows, I don't mean anything negative by using the term "crazy." It's just that Complex PTSD will definitely make one FEEL crazy, as if they're losing their mind.

With PTSD, I can never tell for sure if I'm overreacting or underreacting to things. It can go either way. Many people, as supportive as they might try to be, do not understand the complexity of PTSD or the symptoms and triggers that go along with it. They often don't understand why we can't just "snap out of it" or "get over it."

The problem with PTSD is that whenever you're triggered, you feel like you're back in whatever situation(s) caused the trauma and it can be difficult to calmly and rationally navigate through it.

Many people with PTSD don't even realize they have it. Those of us that do, and recognize the issues it is causing, may not know how to drag themselves out of it or pull themselves through it.

Life with Complex PTSD is difficult and can be chaotic, which means that those of us with PTSD can come across as "difficult" or chaotic. Trust me, we know how we appear to outsiders. But we're taking it one step at a time, one day at a time.

If someone you know has PTSD, the best way to be supportive or help... Is to be there. Simply be there. If they want to talk, listen and give feedback by acknowledging their emotions or the trauma they have gone through. Don't make judgements on them or how they are handling it.

Encourage them to find positive ways to cope and heal. Don't tell them how to heal, your journey is different than theirs... Even if you also have PTSD. Encourage them to seek professional help and help them find resources, if necessary.

But again, the most important thing when dealing with PTSD or someone who has PTSD is to remember to be patient and that the path to healing is truly one step at a time.